The quote above is taken from the book. The author reports that most of us absorb about 50 percent of what we hear initially in a conversation, and that absorption rate quickly drops to 25 percent for the whole conversation. Yet listening is something that we spend more time doing at work than anything else. Clearly, poor listening is an important contributor the the universal organizational menace, the communications stall. On the other hand, the book also points out that effective listening is hard work, and we cannot stay at 100 percent effectiveness for long. We basically pay attention when we believe the message is important, interesting to us, we are in the mood to listen, we have listened to something similar in the past, and we like or respect the person who is speaking.
On the other hand, most people do want to be good listeners.
The purposes of this book are to explain the how and why of active listening (conversing with someone to make a better personal connection and to have a better understanding), to show results from good listening, and to direct the reader to improve her/his listening skills.
The book has six parts. The first concerns why it is desirable to become a better listener. The second addresses how good listeners process information and achieve higher levels of listening success. The third helps you identify your listening styles that help or hurt your listening effectiveness. The fourth is full of personal exercises to further define your strengths and weaknesses as a listener. (I was pleased to learn that I am a good listener, but I certainly have some terrible weaknesses to overcome in order to become a better one). The fifth involves ten tips that will help most people improve. The sixth is a summary of the book. The final section is helpful for creating your personal action plan.
You can also call a toll-free number and get a test to see how you are doing with your listening.
Every section is full of examples, exercises, quizzes, and self-help directions.
The book ends with Kathy's story about how better listening helped her reestablish a good relationship with her Mother.
Most of the material is business and work oriented, but it will certainly help your relationships outside of work.
Although no one can cover everything in one book, a lot of useful material is packed into one short book. You can use this book to both improve your own listening, and to encourage and show those you care about how to do the same. I have had a lot of training in listening and read quite a few books, and I found this material to be sound, thorough, and well presented in a simple, effective way.
Have many great chats and a better life!
