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When Good People Have Affairs | 
 enlarge | Author: Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Category: Book
List Price: £19.05
Buy New: £8.42
You Save: £10.63 (56%)
New (20) Used (2) from £8.42
Rating:  1 reviews
Sales Rank: 72680
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 272
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.5 x 1
ISBN: 0312378475
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.736
EAN: 9780312378479
ASIN: 0312378475
Publication Date: May 27, 2008
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: BRAND NEW - ***Delivery usually * 4 - 5 * working days - From Aphrohead of SOUTHPORT, Lancs, UK *** . Priority Airmail used Worldwide on International orders. Thanks from all at Aphrohead.
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| Customer Reviews:
Don't even consider reading this book, if you are a betrayed spouse October 5, 2008
Nemesis 77
Bear in mind that the subject matter is divisive: you will have those who have either been betrayed or who are anti-infidelity that will criticize this ad infinitum; you will then who have those who are either pro-infidelity or those who will accuse the other side of being "too judgmental".
Kirshenbaum says that she does not support infidelity, but she certainly condones it by suggesting that it is acceptable to run off with your affair partner. She gives so many examples that it sounds like the rule rather than the exception, when in fact it is the other way round. Check out Shirley Glass and Frank Pittman and see what they have to say about the viability of such relationships(according to statistics, these relationships do not have a high success rate).
Ultimately, Kirshenbaum is defending the adulterer. Make no mistake - she treats the betrayed spouse with absolute contempt; very rarely does she highlight the good attributes of the betrayed spouse - in one case, she uses the term "jerk" and implies that most in her examples are incapable of changing to suit the adulterer's needs. Well, they cannot change if they do not know what the problem is.
She advocates a "Do not tell policy" - she disregards the fact that the relationship is built on deception and lies and does not allow for the betrayed spouse to make the decision to stay or leave. She is, in effect, helping the betrayer deprive the betrayed of precious time to find true love.
But also on a practical level, she shows breathtaking naivete - she seems to think that the betrayer might know when they will be discovered; most do not expect to be discovered, but the truth catches up with them eventually, especially with the advances in technology. Confession is better than discovery.
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK if you are a betrayed spouse. There are no crumbs of comfort to take from this - it is completely unilateral and biased in favour of the betrayer and even gives them tips on how to run you over legally, should they decide to leave the relationship.
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