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Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life | 
 enlarge | Author: Marshall B. Rosenberg
Publisher: Puddle Dancer Press,U.S.
Category: Book
List Price: £11.99
Buy New: £5.91
You Save: £6.08 (51%)
New (33) Used (8) from £5.91
Rating:  10 reviews
Sales Rank: 9882
Media: Paperback
Edition: 2nd Revised edition
Pages: 240
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 8.9 x 6 x 0.8
ISBN: 1892005034
Dewey Decimal Number: 153.6
EAN: 9781892005038
ASIN: 1892005034
Publication Date: September 1, 2003
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: BRAND NEW - ***Delivery usually * 2 - 3 * working days - From Aphrohead of SOUTHPORT, Lancs, UK *** . Priority Airmail used Worldwide on International orders. Thanks from all at Aphrohead.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 5 more reviews...
 Heart to heart connection August 26, 2008
C. Warren (nr Koblenz, Germany)
I've read this book four times and what still strikes me is Marshall Rosenberg's assertion that we are always trying to meet our basic human needs. I've been trying to relate to myself and other people in this way now for several years, and I've found that I really am more deeply connected with myself, my partner, my children and the people around me. I'm still working on the language part.
A Common Sense Guide to Communicating Effectively! July 30, 2008
C. Clayton (Tucson AZ)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
The entire premise of the book is about playing nice in the sandbox. It is unfortunate that we as human beings seem to forget that simple rule that we learned when we were very young...but we do.
Marshall Rosenberg explains in the introduction that he has two questions that have motivated him to find the answers to: He asks: "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?"
These questions are truly profound and Rosenberg does an exceptional job of answering both of them in his book.
Rosenberg notes that the first component of Nonviolent Communication is to observe without evaluating. In other words, apply empathy when communicating. This is easier said than done and takes time, patience and a willingness to change ones behavior. There will be mistakes along the way, but change does come with the right attitude.
The second component is to express our feelings. It encourages conscious responses bases on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling and wanting rather than being habitual and auto responding without thinking. In other words, Rosenberg recommends critically thinking through what to say before saying it. Words are weapons and they need to be handled skillfully or they will be harmful!
There are many insightful comments throughout the book. For example, Rosenberg says: "It is the rare human being who can maintain focus on our needs when we are expressing them through images of their wrongness."
This book and other excellent books on communication help us understand each others needs better. With a little shift in our thinking we can be better communicators!
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide To: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
 Not that impressed February 4, 2008
Sally Wilton (Bournemouth UK)
1 out of 5 found this review helpful
For a start this is the type of book that is spread out too thinly. It looks like a big thick book but what with quite large print, lots of headings and space there is not really that much information. You can get through it in no time and not feel very fulfilled.
Satisfaction with the content really depends on why you need to learn this sort of communication. It could be useful if you need to give bad or sad news but some situations really do require more assertive behaviour. If you were in the army for expample you could end up sounding like the John Le Mesurier character saying 'Would you mind awfully' Who would take any notice of that? If you were Alan Sugar may be you could find an alternative and kind way of saying 'You're fired!! but would it work? Would anyone take you seriously? No of course not - there are many many situations in life where it is vitally important to instill a little bit of fear, as the boss of a company, a supervisor, a parent, teacher, the police. Perhaps this would be better suited to couples trying to get on than people trying to run businesses or the world.
View the world through new eyes August 22, 2007
Constantly morphing
8 out of 8 found this review helpful
This book describes Nonviolent Communication - a process for attaining a heart connection between people (free from judgement and blaming), so that all needs can be met. This book describes the theory behind it, and the steps to practice NVC. It's kind of the NVC bible! My opinion is that I reckon it could be quite hard to learn the process from the book alone, but there are online support groups, websites, and courses all over the world to support the learning and transformation. Thoroughly, thoroughly recommended if you want to have more peace within yourself and with others. The more you use it, the deeper into your needs you can go - truly transformational.
Deep and challenging August 22, 2007
Stig
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
Have to admit that for me the book is anything but shallow; however I agree with the comment that it takes a lot of time getting to understand and practice the principles of NVC properly - for me about a year and a half of (hard) on - (switched) off effort. This is because, to truly communicate well we have to at first know our own feelings fully, and in a society and time when we are used to doing the opposite means that this takes really hard work. In addition, because of the society pressures, we are rarely supported in those efforts so it can seem like doubly hard work. I can only imagine the reviewers who have spoken of their irritation that the author seems to lack 'passion' and seems nicey-nicey is that, as a society, we have become so used to raised voices, aggressive gestures, and a childish taking our frustration out on others with few boundaries as a way of expressing 'passion' and 'feeling' that we have become inured to any other way of communicating more effectively, concerned that it might be equal to 'stuffing our own feelings down' in order to facilitate communication. This is not what NVC is about. What NVC offers an equally if not arguably more passionate and a really much more honest sharing of feelings but through gentle emotional sharing, rather than insults, jealous outbursts and language.
This is the essence of vulnerabilty, which is the essence of what NVC requires and that may well be an uncomfortable revelation for many (this certainly includes me). I speak as one who was/is neither calm nor lacking in passion, quite the opposite - but my method of communication was causing me pain (as well as to preclude genuine relationships and sharing). This is where NVC comes into its own, both in challenging the reader to identify emotions (difficult when the only one you have come to adopt due to its general acceptance which is anger), to express vulnerability and hopefulness whilst accepting that your request may not be accepted until you accept others requests and needs - which is a hard lesson. But it is very powerful way of communicating and connecting - and you have to do it to realise why it works this way round and not another. No amount of explanation will convince anyone intellectually reading the book of the consequences of adopting and using NVC.
One of the most helpful things I and others with whom I have now shared the book, have learned is the 'feelings' lists. What was most shocking initally, was how difficult I found it to figure out what exactly it was I was feeling in any given situation (other than angry), and the same was true for those around me applying those principles. We realised we couldn't express and commuicate how we felt, even though we were convinced of our anger and passion in receiving events. To learn that beneath the blanket 'anger' was a vast array of subtle emotions which, once identified, allowed me to learn to share, to have more intimate and close connections with people that mattered, and to have the kinds of relationship that eluded me. I learned also that the majority of the pain I was feeling was of being rejected by another, in not being understood, and in my own ability to express how much I was hurting and being hurt by a particular communication; lastly in being invalidated in so many ways. It took a long time to come to the honesty of this realisation and to be able to express it in a way it could be received and validated. I read this book in conjunction with several others I approached to help me to relate more intimately and genuinely with people, two of which spring to mind "He's Scared, She's scared" (Steven Carter) and "Emotional Unavailability" (Bryn C Collins) to address the issues I was facing. This one helps with the practical application of communication, the others look at the underlying reasons for failing to connect in relationships in a healthy way. All come highly recommended.
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